A Lost Romance
by mrsjaspercullen95
Summary: Love between Matt and Scarlett, She loses Matt meaning Scarlett trys to find her dad and meets the cullens in Forks. Better than it sounds, since I suck at summaries Original pairings within the Cullens
1. Haunting Memories

As the sun seeped through my room, I opened my eyes groggily. Glancing sideways I noticed it was 7'00 o'clock. Rolling over onto my side to sleep more, it was a Saturday after all, I ran over my mind the worst day of my life.

"_Scarlett" called my mum from the insides of her car._

"_Yes" I replied sourly whilst rolling my eyes._

"_Your father and I are just going to the pub, you know sort out life's problems with a good old drink" said my mum cheerily._

"_That'll never help you, it'll just make things worse, trust me" I muttered, knowing it was no use persuading her to waver from her choice._

"_What was that dear?"_

"_Nothing you need to know, mother" putting emphasis on mother._

"_Look at me Scarlett" ordered my mother._

_I drew my eyes up from the ground before me reluctantly. My mum had her arm hanging out of the car clutching a lighter in her grasp. Her dirty blonde hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and she had plastered her face with make-up. I cringed at the sight._

"_You are okay with us going out aren't you?" she asked, concern evident in her throaty voice._

"_My opinion on everything you do is as always, disagreeable, I hate what you've done to yourself" I answered tonelessly._

_My mother's adult response was to scowl at me and shift the car into reverse to pull out of the driveway. Once free of the house she speeded up the quiet street leaving me staring into space down my road. Turning around to face my house, I dropped my hands into pockets and walked back inside, kicking gravel as I went._

_Once I shut the door behind me the scent of cigarettes hit me, blocking out my senses for a split second. I could never get used to it. I occupied myself with starting on the ever growing mound of homework left. After a few hours I felt my eyes protesting to be closed, so I grabbed my bag and pushed my work into it._

_I slipped my tattered pyjamas over my body and proceeded to fall upon my bed. The duvet welcomed me, and it seemed in no time at all I was asleep. But in what seemed even less time when my eyes snapped open. My mother was shouting in the room beneath mine to my father._

"_I cannot believe you" she screamed._

_I pulled my blanket above my ears at a futile attempt to block the sound out, but unsuccessfully._

"_What? You're unhappy with me deciding to leave this life, without you!" roared my father, more drunk than usual._

"_Yes, of course I'm unhappy"_

"_Why? Do you love me?" he asked, sarcasm thick in his voice._

"_No, that was years ago, but what about Scarlett. You can't leave her" said my mother quietly, for being tipsy at least, but I could still hear every word she breathed._

"_I never wanted her, and you know that, I have already stayed 15 years. I would have left the second you told me you were pregnant and you know it. What makes now the same? I will leave" shouted my father._

"_Please, don't" whimpered my mother in fear._

_I could just picture my father, his cheeks red from drunkenness and his short black hair messed up from a fight. With his eyebrow cocked upwards in disbelief._

"_Just until she's 18 and has left the house, I have no money. She'll be taken away." said my mother._

"_So? Your life would be better without her" retorted my father._

"_Funnily enough......I love her" said my mother mildly sarcastic, but I knew she meant it._

"_Do you think that changes my mind in the slightest? Because it doesn't I'm leaving" said my father angrily, "And this time your beloved alcohol won't help"._

_I heard his heavy feet storm up the stairs to my room. My door swung open wildly and I saw my Dad for what was probably the last time. I had imagined him a few moments ago perfectly._

"_You heard that?" he asked softly._

_I just nodded in response, too scared to speak._

"_I'd take you with me, but it won't be good for you...where I'm going"_

"_Did you mean it?" I asked quietly, my voice barely above a whisper._

"_No, but I have to leave, its hell for me here. Your mother would never let me leave if I didn't say that. I do love you really, and I'm so sorry Scarly" said my father; I smiled slightly at his nickname for me._

"_Bye dad...I love you too" I whispered._

_My father walked over to me, kissed me on my forehead, ruffled my hair and said "Take care of yourself Scarlett"_

"_Yeah, you too, Bye" I said and gave him a brief hug._

_He walked swiftly out of the room without a second glance. Just 5 minutes later I heard the car drive away fast and my mother made her way up the stairs, crying. I could still hear her muffled sobs when I fell asleep._

I sighed at the state my life had become since that fateful day. My mother had been to rehab several times, and had still kept her habits up. As for me, I had changed drastically from my 15 year old self. Now I was depressed constantly. Despite my friend's desperate attempts to make me see reason, I waved them away and they were now just mere shadows of the past, like my Dad. I had died my chocolate hair black, and had grown to wear all black. My skin, which was naturally pale, was even more so and used heavy amounts of eyeliner.

The small razor on the table beside my bed beckoned to me. Lifting up my sleeves I saw the numerous scars that had become my life, my saviour. The pain was like morphine for my haunting memories, leaving me with nothing. No pain, no happiness, no worry. I liked it better this way. Of course, at first school was hell. People would constantly make remarks at my sudden change, or would insult me. It angered me now, taunting the lion in my chest to break through and conquer, leaving me with nothing but desire to show them what I really felt. But I restrained my emotions, learnt to ignore and by now I was nothing to everyone. Just there, the unsociable emo girl that everyone used to love talking to. Except when a new kid came, talk about me raised and went just as suddenly as it came.

I did try to stop, but it was my heroin. I couldn't, at least not once it had become an addiction. I decided not to today, a simple jog in the woods would suffice just as much for the upcoming day. Saturdays were the easiest, I didn't have to endure the company of anyone, except an occasional boyfriend of my mum, I was left alone. My mother forgot me. I was left to fend for myself. She let me take over responsibility of my life fall into the hands of me, which was given the circumstance, extremely inappropriate. But I did it for my father, who had probably long forgotten me, I kept breathing for his sake in the hope that one day, we would meet.

I hauled myself out of the warm covers on my bed and placed my feet on the stone cold wooden floor. I pulled out a pair of black skinny jeans and slipped on a nirvana t-shirt. The yellow was the only colour I would allow to be on my clothes. I found my black and grey chequered slip on vans and put them on. After eyeliner and leaving my hair to fall where it will after brushed, I was ready to go out to the cafe for breakfast. Grabbing some money for the day from the kitchen table I headed out, but not before taking my black leather jacket to cover my scars.

My black Toyota was parked in the driveway and I slipped into the front seat of my car. I had earned the money from working in various shops over the previous years, and bought it off an old friend I hadn't seen in 5 years. He was somewhat....taken aback by my new appearance, but he talked just the same. Matt was the only person I could stand talking to since I was 15. But even with him, we only talked online about once a week. Which, given my standards is surprising.

I shifted the gears into reverse and pulled slowly out of the driveway. I went at a steady pace down my street, enjoying the cool morning air. My stomach protested and warned me to go faster. Most of my neighbours were inside, except for the Matthews who were sat reading on their porch. The eyes followed me and I could see in the side mirror they had started discussing me whilst shooting furtive looks to the back of my car. I scowled, why couldn't people sort out their own lives and stay out of others? Which is the main reason I don't socialize, well apart from Matt anyway.

I sped up wanting to reach the cafe to fill my hunger, as the houses flew past I concentrated on the road before me, casting away all thoughts of my reality.

_I walked slowly down the stairs, making as little sound as possible._

_I had woken up early after my father's departure, and I needed to see my mum, she could be in any state at the moment._

_I heard sounds of life in the front room, so I peeked in the door, only to see a sight I would never want to see. My mother was rocking back and forth, tears rolling down her rose cheeks. Her mascara was smudged and her hair was as bad as a hedge. She was in a worse state than I had ever seen her before. The alcohol in her system seemed to have worn off, she had no sign of a hangover at all, just depression._

_I went over to her and threw my arm over her shoulders for comfort. For her response she shrugged me away._

"_Leave me alone, live your own life" she muttered under her breath to me._

"_What?" her words surprised me, my mother had always been kind to me, always wanted me there._

"_I'm fed up of you, no longer do I want to be kept down by your burden" my mother cruelly answered._

"_If that's what you want, then fine, but this is the last thing I'll do for you, you brought this life upon yourself" I said, inflicting my words with poison to show my true meaning, I wanted no more to do with her._

_I left from the room swiftly and ran to my bedroom. The light blue paint from my childhood was peeling and the curtains had half come off. I needed a change; I wanted no memories from my mother to be in this room. It would be my haven._

_I picked up a sharpener from my desk and spent the next hour releasing the blade from its case. Once in the bathroom I pulled up my sleeve to my elbow and drew the blade across my soft skin. Blood came up to the surface and I kept it like that for a few seconds. I found all my pain was banished, I hadn't a care in the world about being left by my family, and it relaxed me. I stuck a plaster to stem the blood flow and hid the blade in a drawer of my desk. It was the perfect way to keep my emotion under control until I sorted out the mess my life had become in the past 24 hours._

Coming back from within my flashback I realised how much of my life I had cast away in that short space of time. I regretted it with my entire mind, but what was done couldn't be undone. I had tried to give up the cutting, but I couldn't, it was a saviour. I know Matt didn't agree with my idea for peace in my life, but he put up with it. I knew no one who could fully make me stop. I didn't trust a soul anywhere near enough to even know the reason behind it.


	2. Hope?

The cafe drifted into my view of sight and welcomed me with the thought of food. I pulled my car slowly up to the pavement and headed inside. The small round tables were dotted around the cafe with tiny pink paper hearts on every available surface. I groaned, today was Valentine's Day. Confetti was strewn all over the cafe and large, pink hearts hung with ribbon from the ceiling. I breathed slowly in and out, today would be especially difficult for me.

I sat at my normal table which was in the far corner and was the furthest from the other ones, unfortunately it was covered with confetti like everything else, but I sorted that out with one quick brush with my hand. I had a view of behind the counter here and saw my old friend Georgiana, she had her light brown hair tied back into a messy ponytail and had framed her eyes with light mascara. She noticed me and sent a shy smile towards me before carrying on with tying her apron up. I nodded as a reply, even at my small token of a gesture she looked taken aback, usually I would completely ignore her. If I wanted her to, Georgiana would take me back as a friend instantly. But I didn't think I ever wanted to have friends, people just let you down in life, all the time. I didn't want that to happen to me again, so I avoided people.

Another waitress came up to my table with a beaming smile on her face, of course when she saw it was me again the smile disintegrated. I rolled my eyes, people would never accept me.

"Hello Melissa, it is lovely to see you yet again" I said in a sickly sweet voice to show my dislike for her.

She shook out her light blonde hair behind her shoulder and narrowed her eyes.

"Whatever, just tell me what you're ordering, I don't have time to talk to someone like you"

I knew she was hinting at me cutting myself but I acted as if her last statement didn't fall from her lips.

"A coffee and buttered toast is enough" I retorted sharply, wanting to end this conversation.

She swung round the opposite direction, to block out the other sounds in the room I took out my iPod and began listening to AC/DC Back in Black. It was Georgiana who came with my order, I was thankful for that. She slipped the plate and mug onto my table and motioned for me to take out my headphones.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Scarlett, I was just wondering, will you come here every day cause during my break I'd like someone to talk to and Melissa really pisses me off" she asked.

"Ummm, Georgiana, you know how I am with people" I stated, I had nothing against the girl before me, I just liked being alone, she must have grasped that by now.

"Okay, it's just you were fine with me before you....changed" she said simply and got up to leave.

"Wait" I called out quietly.

Georgiana turned around to look at me expectantly.

"I guess if I come in tomorrow we could talk, but it does depend on my mood, because despite all of this" I gestured towards the decorations, "I am in a relatively good mood today, but I can't guarantee tomorrow I will" I explained.

She nodded and went back to her job. I took a sip of my coffee and leant my elbow on the table whilst thinking. Maybe I could begin to build my life again. Georgiana was a start, who next? As long as I didn't become too close to anyone it was possible. I shook my head, I vowed to myself the day I had a final conversation with my mum I would never get close to people. It hurt when they left too much.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I took a quick glance at the small screen and I saw I had a text from Matt. Surprised, I pressed open and read his short text.

**Hey, haven't talked in ages. You okay? Thought I'd check if you were alive still, I don't want you to become suicidal on me. Talk later? Matt ******

I chuckled a little at his message, Matt could always make me smile whether intentional or not. I sent a quick message back saying I would talk to him on msn. Couples had started to enter the cafe so I gulped down my coffee, ate my toast and grabbed my bag and left the right money on the table. I shrugged my jacket back over my shoulders and headed to my car. I pushed they keys into the ignition and twisted them slightly. Checking over my shoulders I was free to go so I left the car park. I decided to drive back home and to go on the computer. Everywhere else would be occupied with couples that made my heart twang knowing that it was too late for me to be a part of that kind of stuff.

I heard my mum in the kitchen so I walked straight past that door and went to my own room instead. I swung the door lightly open and walked over to the laptop and logged onto my msn account. Whilst it was loading I looked around my room, since my father left I had painted the walls a deep purple and had put blinds over my window. The walls were covered in posters of bands where I had taken down photos.

Once msn had loaded I noticed immediately Matt was the only one online, everyone else was probably enjoying Valentine's Day I thought bitterly.

**Hey Scarlett (Matt)**

_**Hey (Scarlett)**_

**You weren't lying then when you said you would talk today**

_**What made you think I was?**_

**Only the fact that you always do...**

_**I'm going to choose to ignore the fact you just said that**_

**You can't ignore me Scarlett**

_**Give me one reason why not**_

**Because I'm the only one who will talk to you from what you say, and no one can go without talking to anyone**

_**I'm willing to give it a shot**_

**Really?**

_**Well no, but only because I seem to feel a little happy when talking to you**_

**I'm better than I thought then**

_**What?**_

**Don't worry; it's just that your old friends want me to 'knock some sense into you'**

_**You actually listened to them?**_

**Well yeah, we're all worried about you Scarlett**

_**Not you too**_

**It isn't good to get through life the way you do**

_**Maybe I don't want a good life, maybe I want to be on my own**_

**And you really believe that?**

_**Well I guess if my Dad was back I might go back to normal, or whatever I was before**_

**You were normal, but why is your Dad the key to stopping?**

_**He in a way started it I guess**_

**No he didn't, you did**

_**Bye Matt**_

**What? Why are you leaving?**

_**Because I'm fed up of talk like this, when you change your mind and want to talk properly, let me know**_

**Sorry, I didn't mean it, well I guess I did but if it's what you want then I'm fine**

_**Whatever Matt, I don't care what I want anymore; it'll just be taken away from me**_

**You're too harsh on yourself Scarlett; people do want to be friends with you**

_**Sure they do, the depressed emo too caught up in this place we call a world, of course they want to talk to me**_

**I did get the sarcasm in that**

_**Good, I wanted you to, now I'm going offline, I need to clear my head**_

**Then bye Scarlett, I do love you, you know**

_**You love me?**_

**Well not in the sense of the word, but I do care for you**

_**Well, in that context, I love you too**_

**Then can I meet you today?**

_**Okay, I'll pick you up at your house in half an hour?**_

**That'd be great ******

_**Okay, bye**_

**Bye**

I logged off msn and got my iPod to listen to. Snow patrols run came on and I occupied myself with figuring out the meaning behind the lyrics. It always made me think of wanting someone to be with, but there being no one for you.

I left my room to my car and sped off to Matt's house. He was waiting expectantly in his window watching the road. His face lit up when he saw my car. I smiled at him I watched as he left his window to meet me.

When he left his house I noticed his appearance. He had grown longish hair with a side fringe, and was wearing a silverstein band t shirt and black skinny jeans and was also wearing black vans. He slipped into the front seat and I pulled out one of my headphones from my ear.

"What are you listening to?" he asked.

"Hammerhead"

"By the offspring?"

"Yeah, it's alright but I prefer other songs" I answered.

"I know what you mean"

"So where do you want to go?" I asked whilst starting the engine.

"I don't mind, we could go watch a movie?" suggested Matt.

"Sure any ideas what one?" I asked, as long as it wasn't romantic I didn't mind.

"What about one of the old classics? I think there's a showing a couple of towns away from here"

"I'm not really in the mood for that kind of thing today. How about a comedy?" I suggested.

"Sure what was that new one?" Matt mused.

"Ghost town?"

"That was it what about that?"

"Sure, sounds good" I agreed and started some small talk during the journey; I knew Matt would bring up my life again and I wanted to try and say clear of that subject today at least.

"You know what's strange?" Matt said suddenly whilst I put my iPod into the docking system I kept into the car.

"No what?" I asked.

"Well you're exactly the same as you were before except not as cheerful, you really haven't changed" said Matt.

I preoccupied myself with choosing a song to play before answering. Another way to die came on and I looked straight ahead on the road whilst commenting on Matt's last statement.

"I have changed Matt" I answered curtly.

"How so? I can't see a way" said Matt stubbornly.

"The way I think for starters, whenever anything happens I always think of negative points first, it was never like that" I replied.

"Any chance you could change back to the Scarlett I knew before your Dad left?" asked Matt hopefully.

"No" I answered simply, "This is my way of life now Matt, I don't really want to change it, if I was in contact with Dad still then maybe the cards would turn and I'd be back to I was before in some ways, but it won't so your idea of me not cutting is a pretty bleak outlook", more like impossible I thought to myself.

"There's always hope" said Matt.

I rolled my eyes, "No there isn't, if there was I wouldn't be like this, not if there was some fairness"

I parked in the cinema car park. Matt got out and walked straight to the ticket office, obviously annoyed with my views. The girl behind the glass gave us two tickets and I noticed a sheet of paper with the tickets.

"Bye come again anytime soon" she said whilst attempting to look up from underneath her lashes.

We walked in silence to the screen and Matt passed the two tickets to the person allowing access. The paper fluttered to the ground. We were walking away until someone called us.

"Excuse me, I think you dropped this" I turned around and it was the girl at the ticket office.

She held out her hand to give Matt the paper. He took one glance at it before chucking it into the bin beside us. I saw the girls face crumple in disappointment.

"What was it?" I asked curiously.

"Her number" said Matt and he chuckled.

I smirked; it was kind of funny how desperate some girls were.

We sat down at the back of the theatre and sat through the seemingly endless adverts.

"Finally" I said loudly when the film finally started causing many people to around and scowl.

We watched the film for about ten minutes before becoming bored. I leant over to talk quietly to Matt.

"Do you reckon we should piss everyone off by talking really loudly and stuff?" I asked desperate for something mildly fun to do.

"Just like old times, before your Dad left?" asked Matt hopefully.

"Exactly like old times" I answered.

"Sure then you start" said Matt.

"Not here" I said loudly so loads of people could hear.

"Oh come on Scarlett, this is so boring" whined Matt just as loud.

"No I am actually watching this you know" I retorted.

"Fine" huffed Matt and he crossed his arms.

Everyone scowled at us and turned to the screen once more.

"Ready to turn it up a notch?" I asked.

"To hell I am" muttered Matt.

"Stop touching my leg Matt" I nearly shouted.

"Aww baby let me" he said and rested his hand on my thigh for show.

"I am not your baby Matt"

"You told me you were" he said in mock anger that only I noticed.

"I never said that, you're my mate Matt, nothing more"

"But I want more" said Matt and he slid his hand further up my leg.

"Stop it" I shouted, this time the whole cinema turned around to watch us.

"Kiss me then" said Matt.

We had had this conversation many times in cinemas to annoy everyone and I would always kiss Matt after that comment.

He leant forward until our lips were touching, but this time neither of us seeked entrance with our tongues, this time it felt more...real.

I pulled away and leant my head on my hand to think, I was completely oblivious to everyone else, and it seemed Matt was too, he never took his hand from my leg. Unable to take not being able to talk seriously I took his hand and stormed out of the dark room with Matt following closely.


	3. New look, New life

I pulled away and leant my head on my hand to think, I was completely oblivious to everyone else, and it seemed Matt was too, he never took his hand from my leg. Unable to take not being able to talk seriously I took his hand and stormed out of the dark room with Matt following closely.

I got into the car and started the engine immediately. Matt switched on the iPod and you know I love you by the Pigeon detectives came on.

"Pretty ironic song" said Matt trying to break the awkward silence.

"Yeah, it is" I replied, I searched through every possible comment on what had just happened to say to Matt that would explain everything in a short matter of time.

"That felt different than before Scarlett" said Matt quietly.

"I know I felt it too" I confessed.

"I think I should tell you what I've been meaning to say for weeks Scarlett" said Matt, I glanced over at him and saw that he was staring in front of him.

"I think I know" I said.

"Then will you give me permission to show you instead of say?" he asked hopefully with a gleam in his eyes letting me know his intentions.

"I think I can allow you show me" I answered.

"Good then" he said and Matt leaned to me after I stopped the car and pulled me into a simple kiss. I moved my lips with his and melted into the pure bliss I was feeling. I was the happiest I had been since my Dad left and I knew it was the same with Matt. I pulled away to breathe and Matt took a lock of my hair and hooked it behind my ear.

"I love you Scarlett, only one thing could make me happier" he whispered softly in my ear.

"Which would be?" I questioned.

"You being back to what you were like before" he muttered.

I leant back into my seat and started the car again. Breathing deeply I looked into his blue eyes.

"I guess I could get my hair back to its original colour and I could wear some non-black clothes" I said quietly.

"It's a start at least"

"Well then would you like to come with me to get new clothes?" I asked only wishing to spend the rest of the day with him.

"As long as I'm with you I'll do anything right now" he answered.

When we reached the shops I got out of the car and took Matt's hand in mine. After trawling through countless shops and I had a ton of bags stuffed with clothes we finally left to go home. When we reached Matt's house after a too short car journey I stopped the car reluctantly.

"I don't want you to go" I confessed.

"Nor do I, but I think my parents might worry from me not being there, you know how protective they are" explained Matt.

"Yeah, well tomorrow we can meet up?" I suggested.

"Sure, I'll be round yours at 10?"

"Can we make it 9?" I asked knowing it would be near impossible waiting a few hours.

"As you wish" he said and leant over to kiss my forehead lightly.

"Till tomorrow then" he said and got out of the car.

Before Matt shut the door I whispered a goodbye and watched him go back into his house. When I reached my house again I heard music blaring from within my mum's room. I sighed knowing she was in one of her angry moods; her latest boyfriend probably dumped her. I wouldn't get any peace this evening, at least not until the early hours of the morning. I could hear dream on by Aerosmith and I hummed along to the song. I took my iPod and slipped it into my pocket; I knew my Mum would take it if she knew I had one. I took the bags in my hands and carried them slowly into my room.

Once hearing me enter the house my Mum came looking for me, probably to go on about how bad her life was, I rolled my eyes, even my life was better than hers. She stumbled into my room holding a bottle of Vodka in her grasp, in the other was a cigarette.

"Get out of here until you've finished the cigarette" I snarled, I didn't want my room with the stench the rest of the house had. My Mum obliged, she knew how serious I was and came back in five minutes later with only the vodka. She saw the bags that littered my floor and stared at them in wonder.

"You took my money again didn't you?" she accused angrily.

"What money could I take, you spend it all on your 'necessities'" I replied simply putting air quotes around necessities; she understood what I was indicating.

"Then how did you get money?" she questioned ignorant of the obvious dislike I had in my voice.

"I got jobs and save up money" I said in a duh voice.

She narrowed her eyes and scowled, "Since when did you work?"

"I have had a job for the past 3 years now, I'm saving up to buy my own home now I'm eighteen" I explained, she already knew I had a job.

"How much more money do you need?" she asked wanting to know how much longer my presence would be here.

"I'm not saying how much more I need or how much money I already have, I know you'll take it, and I'll be here about 4 months longer but I wish it was shorter" I said bored.

"Can't wait till then" my Mum said and she left my room walking in a waving line. I shut the door behind her and got to my bags to hang up the new clothes and dispose of most of my old ones. I was in the process of separating my band t-shirts from the rest of my old clothes when my Mum called to me from below.

"I'll be using some of your new clothes" she said.

"No you won't they wouldn't fit you anyway" I said smugly.

This shut her up and she didn't utter a single word for the rest of the night. I fell asleep at about 2:30 and lay sprawled among my old clothes from fatigue. I was woken by Matt shaking me gently.

"What time is it?" I asked groggily.

"9:30" he answered in a hushed voice.

"Is my Mum still here then?"

"Yeah, she's on the couch downstairs snoring"

"How did you get in then?" I asked curiously.

"The door was left unlocked" he explained.

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me" I muttered.

"What do you mean?"

"She was drunk again last night"

"Oh" said Matt in understanding.

I sat up slowly and rubbed the back of my head, sleeping on the floor wasn't comfortable in the slightest. I groaned in annoyance when I saw the clothes I still had to sort out.

Mat, seeing my despair offered to help.

"Thanks, umm could you take these and donate them to charity or something for me?" I asked and pointed to a large pile of most of my old clothes.

"Sure" he said and kissed me on the cheek; he walked over to the clothes and picked them up in his arms "I'll be back soon" he said.

"Kay" I said and proceeded to pick an outfit for the day. I picked out a light and dark grey striped long sleeved top from the floor and pulled that over my body. I wore a black mini skirt with layered black lace at the hem. I pulled on natural coloured tights and slipped red heeled court shoes with triple patent straps midway. I hung a simple clear crystal butterfly necklace around my neck. Checking my appearance once over in the mirror I was shocked by the obvious change it looked on me. I did look prettier wearing colours even if it was just shoes and I was pleased with the result, I knew Matt would love it. Instead of my black shoulder bag I emptied my phone, purse, iPod and lip gloss into a red handbag out of my black shoulder back, it finished the outfit perfectly.

I saw Matt enter my room from the back of my mirror; he saw my reflection and gazed in surprise at me.

"Wow Scarlett, you look.....amazing" he said with a loss of words. I smiled happily. Maybe I honestly could turn my life around again, start fresh with a new house of my own.

"Thank you Matt" I replied and turned around to face him.

"So today can we get the dye out of your hair?" he asked hopefully

.

"Yes, I think it'll look okay again" I agreed.

"It'll look beautiful Scarlett, I promise" he assured me.

"Well, I can't say no to that then"

Matt took my hand and led me to his car, I stopped in shock. I the driveway was his silver Porsche 911 turbo.

I slid into the passenger seat and put the radio on.

Matt got into the car after me and drove quickly to the best hair salon.

"Don't even think of trying to pay for this Matt" I said before we left the car since yesterday he had tried to buy most of the clothes I wanted.

"Fine" he grumbled.

He pulled open the door to the store and waited for me to pass. I headed to the desk directly in front. A lady in her mid twenties with platinum blonde hair in ringlets was smiling widely to us. She strongly reminded me of an air hostess, forced to be nice to the customer.

"I would like to have this black dye taken out of my hair please" I said.

"Okay, would you like it styled at all?" she asked.

"Sure, a side fringe and cut shorter" I answered.

"Okay, let me just see if there's space now" said the woman and she checked her computer screen before turning back to me and telling us to wait for ten minutes and someone will be with us.

I sat with Matt on the white leather loveseat that was in front of the window.

"I want to b able to watch my car until we are back in it" moaned Matt.

"You can move somewhere else when my hair is being cut" I said.

"But I want to be with you" he said.

"Well, it's either watch the car or watch me because I can't exactly move the car into the building can I?" I said whilst rolling my eyes.

The woman with the blonde hair who was obviously listening into our conversation said, "Don't worry sir, there are much more expensive cars in the car park than yours"

I could feel Matt tensing up beside me so I rubbed small circles into the back of his hand with my thumb to sooth him, he seemed to relax but I knew as soon as we were away from the woman he would go into a full scale rant about it.

A man with black hair styled kind of like Gok Wan's motioned for us to follow him. We did so into a large circular room with mirrors for walls. I sat in the nearest empty chair and saw Matt lean against the wall to watch. I pulled my headphones out of my pocket and put my iPod on shuffle whilst my hair was being sorted. Leave out all the rest by Linkin Park came on and I closed my eyes to wait until I could move again.

As soul meets body by Death Cab For Cutie came on the hairdresser pulled the brush away from my head and exclaimed "Voila" and spun my chair to the mirror with a flourish.

In the mirror was a complete stranger to me, a teenager with deep chocolate brown hair that cascaded down her back in large curls, to finish off the look she had a fringe swept to the side of her face. Matt was looking in amazement and I swore I heard him mutter "Scarlett's back".

I just looked on in amazement; I really had ruined 3 years of my life by my selfish means of making me 'happy'. I looked down at my wrists even though they were covered with the sleeves of my top, if only I could make the scars disappear, then life would be perfect again. Matt noticed my sudden change in mood to sadness and I could tell he knew immediately why. I stood up slowly letting my hair fall naturally over my shoulders and thanked the hairdresser.

"My pleasure, it really looks wonders on you" he complimented.

"Thank you" I said a sent Matt a smile.

I had already paid so we walked straight past the woman with the blonde hair and to matt's car.

"See your car is absolutely fine Matt" I said.

He chuckled and sat in the car, I followed quickly after him. Once I was seated and had pulled the belt over my body Matt turned to me and kissed me lightly on the lips. It was heaven but he pulled away in too short a time. I tried to lean into him again but the seatbelt refrained me, I cursed in my mind.

"Scarlett we can get back to that later, I was thinking we could go back to the cafe and get some of your friends back" said Matt happily.

I rolled my eyes, "You're really set on me changing completely aren't you?" I said to him.

"Of course I am so will you?" he asked, obviously not going to give it up.

"Okay, but I'll only talk to Georgiana, no one else will accept me again as a friend" I answered.

The rest of the day went pretty uneventfully, I was, once again friends with Georgiana, who like Matt approved of my 'new look'. Whilst we were on the way home Matt pulled up at the side of the road and turned to talk.


	4. Left Alone Again

"Scarlett" he said cautiously.

"Yeah?"

"I have to leave for a while" he said quietly not quite meeting my eyes.

"Why? We've only been together two days, surely we can have longer together" I said.

"No, we can't, not for a while, and don't get it into your mind I'm breaking up with you, that's something that will never happen in this universe" he looked into my eyes and I knew he was speaking the truth.

"But why?" I was desperate for him to stay, nothing else in my life mattered. I couldn't let him leave; I would do everything in my power to stop him.

"I'm going to go to college and get a well paid job so that when I come back for you, we can live together" he said, "Away from all the pain of your past, I hate seeing you live with the memory, I want to anything to let you forget"

"Is this the reason, me living where the worst and best has happened in my life, cause I do have money, enough for a home, that's no reason to leave Matt, and you know it" I took his hand in mine, he grasped mine tightly.

"I never want to let go, but I need to, I promise I'll be back here as soon as possible" he said and I gazed into the depths of his eyes.

"That could be ages"

"I know, and I'm sure I will hate it once I leave, but at the moment it's all that I can think about, I have thought about it for months now"

"If you leave I will, nothing else here ties me to this place, other than you and I want to find my Dad"

My last sentence took him aback for a moment, his voice still sounded surprised when he asked me why.

"I figured since I'm trying to back to what I was like before I know I can't fully until I'm with my Dad again"

I could see in the expressions shown on Matt's face that he didn't like my choice, but then I didn't like his. It was fair, but I knew deep down this couldn't work, for either of us. We would be torn apart no matter how much we tried to keep us together.

"Fine, you go find your Dad and I'll go to college, then we will be together" said Matt unhappily.

"If it's what you want we could both go to college and then go find my Dad" I suggested.

"No, that isn't what I mean"

"Then what is?"

"I just hate the thought of you leaving here on your own"

I smiled; of course he would be protective about anything I chose to do, especially if it was without him.

"When are you leaving?" I asked softly.

"Tomorrow" he said and he looked at his hand which was around the steering wheel. I sighed; we had so little time together.

"Can I give you something to remember me by?" he asked.

"Yes" I answered simply.

Matt twisted in his seat and pulled his seatbelt away from him and did the same me. He pressed his lips softly against mine and slipped his hand around my waist. I placed one of my hands on the back of his neck and with my other hand I twisted his hair in my fingers. He ran his tongue slowly along my bottom lip seeking access into my mouth so I parted my lips and we carried on kissing passionately, only taking gasps of air when we needed it.

When we finally parted I was stunned. If only he wasn't leaving and I could kiss like that more. I knew Matt felt the same way; his emotions were always displayed on his face.

"Wow" I said quietly.

"Yeah, wow" he replied under his breath.

We gazed into the depths of each other's eyes, a pool of blue meeting with doe brown. Our peaceful moment was ruined by Matt's phone suddenly going off. He saw who had called him and answered. He hung up quickly and said,

"Sorry Scarlett, My mum says I have to get back home now, apparently she wants to spend my last evening here with me"

I knew no amount of persuading would make him stay so I just sat back in my seat and allowed him to take me home. When he pulled up outside my house it felt as the day had lasted just an hour, not 12. Before I left the car I had to find something out.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" I asked quietly.

Matt shook his head, "I have to leave really early to get there by 5"

"Where is your college?"

"Dartmouth"

"Okay, well phone me as soon as you can" I said and I got out of the car.

Matt did so also and came over and hugged me in an embrace he whispered softly into my ear and said, "I love you Scarlett"

"I love you too" was my answer. When he pulled away and got back into his car he gave me one last glance before driving away. I stood in my porch just watching the end of the road where his car had disappeared. Finally since he told me he was leaving a tear fell from my eye. I rolled down my cheek I let it stain my face.


	5. Forks

I entered my house unhappy and completely ignored my Mum laying sprawled across the couch holding beer in her grasp. I walked slowly up the stairs and into my room where I put I will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie on my iPod. I lay on my bed listening to the music.

The lyrics meant so much to me for various reasons.

Love of mine some day you will die

But I'll be close behind

I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white

Just our hands clasped so tight

Waiting for the hint of a spark

If Heaven and Hell decide

That they both are satisfied

Illuminate the Nos on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you

When your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule

I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black

And I held my tongue as she told me

"Son fear is the heart of love"

So I never went back

If Heaven and Hell decide

That they both are satisfied

Illuminate the Nos on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you

When your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see

From Bangkok to Calgary

And the soles of your shoes are all worn down

The time for sleep is now

It's nothing to cry about

'cause we'll hold each other soon

In the blackest of rooms

If Heaven and Hell decide

That they both are satisfied

Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you

When your soul embarks

Then I'll follow you into the dark

Then I'll follow you into the dark

I opened my eyes to the bright light of the sun as it shone into my room. My clock said it was 9 am and I realised I had fallen asleep listening to music. I remembered the previous evening and I then was reminded of my decision to find my Dad. I didn't need to go over a plan; my Mum would gladly allow me to leave. I took a few bags and packed all my clothes shoes ect, everything I wanted or needed with me.

It was about 12 when I was ready I had worn bright blue skinny jeans and a yellow tank top and a dark blue jacket which was cinched at the waist along with my black converses. I took all my bags and left them in the back of my car.

I decided to wait to say goodbye to my Mum regardless of the fact that she won't care.

So I used the time to work out where I would go to find my Dad. I took my laptop into the kitchen and searched for the town my Dad lived in before he moved here. I knew the name was Forks and I knew my Dad loved being there. It was the one lead I had to him. I decided to watch a movie for the next two hours when my Mum staggered through the front door holding hands with yet another man. He was about 6 foot tall and had dark greasy brown hair; his face hadn't been shaved in the morning so he had stubble which didn't look good on him at all. It was obvious they were drunk. My mum saw me sitting on the chair and yelled at me to get up; I did so and grabbed my laptop from the table.

"Just so you know Mum, I think and hope this is the last time you'll see me" I said loudly knowing she wasn't paying attention, she was too busy straddling the man she was with.

She turned her head sharply to me, "What?"

"I'm leaving" I explained.

"You don't have a house, you can't"

"I'm finding Dad, and I have enough money to pay for food and hotels until I do"

"You are not finding your Dad, he was a worthless bastard and doesn't deserve to have a daughter" she said angrily.

I rolled my eyes in response, "Whatever I'm leaving anyway so bye" I said and left the room swiftly to my car. As I left the room I heard her say good riddance and I knew her life would go downhill from now.

I got into my car and after putting my iPod on its dock I pulled out of the driveway and with a last fleeting glance at the house I had grown up in, I drove at a steady pace to Forks. I had worked out if I didn't stop I might get there for 12 at night, but I doubted I would be welcome that late. So I was going to stay at a hotel nearby and try and get there for 9 am round about.

As my eyes were beginning to close and I had to start singing loudly to keep myself awake I decided to book in a hotel before I ended up crashing. I came up to Seattle and booked a hotel about 10 minutes from the city. I decided to bring one of my bags in with me and I paid at the check in and was given a key to one of the rooms.

I was too tired to notice my surroundings so once I was inside my room I just got changed into my pyjamas and slumped onto the bed. I fell asleep almost as soon as I had pressed my face against the pillow.

I awoke at about 9 and I got ready quickly, I wore dark blue skinny jeans, a dark red t shirt with my black etnies hoodie with etnies written in dark blue. I pulled on some ugg boots and had a breakfast of toast and orange juice. I pulled my hair into a messy ponytail and I gave the key at the check in.

Once in the car the journey for the next hour went quickly by. I tried to think of how to meet my Dad again, if he was there. When I reached Forks I stopped at the petrol station to fill up the car and find out where the police station was. A man in his mid thirties gave me the information I needed and in ten minutes I was walking through the doors into the local police station.

A balding man in his 50's was at an inquiry desk and he smiled warmly at me.

"Hello Miss is there anything you would like to report?" he asked hopefully, I got the feeling the crime rate for this town was probably miss use of fireworks.

"Not to report, but I wanted to find out if Mr Ashford lives in Forks" I answered.

"Mr Ashford? Yes he works as a teacher at the high school here, why did you want him?" the man asked.

"I'm his daughter and I haven't seen him in a couple of years"

"Oh well, welcome to Forks"

I smiled and walked out of the station, I decided the best thing to do would be to wait for my father to exit the school, I had nowhere else to go and I needed to sleep somewhere tonight. The local high school seemed nice enough, it was very small though. It suited him well.


	6. Authors Note Sorry

**A/N I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I have only got one reader for this fic, and however much I enjoy writing it. I haven't been able to even bring the file up on Word cause its depressing since I get hardly and reviews except from one person. So thanks to All The Pretty Horses, my one faithful reader. Please don't get me wrong I'm not trying to get any sympathy or anything. But I'm putting this story on hold, since I have started a new one called Pushing Up The Daisies ******** check it out :D it's going much better than this one, but I will at some point start this fic again.**

**So I haven't quit this I'm just leaving it for a while...sorry**

**Sarah**


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